Yes, it’s important to create a pattern of self-care & to work on loving yourself, but I believe one of the most important things we can do for ourselves & for everyone else is to become self-aware.
Being the best version of ourselves
We are our own worst critique & that’s not wrong, but we must take the time to give ourselves positive criticism instead of constant self-deprecation.
If we don’t step back & analyze our actions, the way we speak to loved ones & how we reflect our words through actions then we are allowing ourselves to perhaps become a toxic person in another’s life.
Evolution is inevitable. Life is all about change & working hard at becoming the best version of yourself, for yourself & for the people we love. The truth is, if we can’t make the effort for ourselves, we need to do it for our loved ones because they are the ones hurting from us not making an effort to work on things.
“Self-love without Self-awareness is counter-productive”
Are you self-aware?
Do you think before you speak? Do you see the impact your words & actions have on people? Do your actions & words reflect each other?
These are pretty direct questions that make us reflect & think. It is confronting but necessary. We send so many mixed signals when our words & actions don’t reflect each other. People will hesitate to trust us because they hear one thing & see another…..
We need to STOP, LOOK, LISTEN & THINK
LOOK at the person to see how they are responding,
LISTEN to them, let them talk,
THINK how our words or actions have just impacted them.
This is vital to interaction. By doing this we have the opportunity to create the habit of thinking before we speak, from learning & observing, Stepping back & seeing how people respond. It shows them we care!
‘To truly listen is to understand”
We like to think we listen. Just because you aren’t talking & the other person is, does not mean you are listening. There is always a reason why people do & say things, always a reason why people will react in certain ways. Just because it isn’t how you would do it doesn’t mean its less valid.
Adjusting our perspective is how we understand, it’s how to truly listen. I even struggle to understand why people do & say certain things sometimes, but I have learned to adjust my perspective before I jump to a conclusion.
I find it so much easier to understand people, even if I wouldn’t do it their way. I understand them because I take the time & make the effort to.
Self-awareness within relationships
We are all at different growth stages in life, learning different things & facing different challenges. It can be very hard to have relationships where you are in different stages of life, but hey! That’ll be pretty much every friendship or partnership you will have!
The key is communication & understanding. Sometimes the reason relationships aren’t working is because someone isn’t self-aware! leading to communication & understanding becoming neglected. That is why we need to step back & give ourselves positive critsum every now & then.
“Being Kind without being self-aware is simply unkind”
Just because you send a nice text, buy a nice gift or write a thoughtful message doesn’t mean you are free from being unkind.
There are so many layers to interaction, so if we aren’t self-aware we will likely be rude or mean to someone at some point & not just once, we can create patterns with attitude & behavior around certain people as well that become consistent.
Being aware of our actions & words after something has already been said or done, is usually most of the time what we struggle with because know we have regret & guilt…however, there is now a choice, we can either simply move on & continue feeling bad every time we don’t think before we speak or, we can make it up to them, practice the art of becoming self-aware, then thinking before we speak can become second nature!
To be the best version of ourselves & have fulfilling relationships, we need to become SELF-AWARE.